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When the Baby Arrives

19 Oct

I came across some helpful information about duas and what to do when the baby arrives (quite accidentally actually). I have done what any lazy blogger would do, that is, copy and paste, onto my blog, hence giving it some substance. I have put the reference below the clipping so as to humble myself.

Advice for the New Mother

By Sister Fatima Barakatullah

The coming of a first new baby is a time of excitement and every Muslim mother-to-be eagerly awaits the arrival of this special gift. It is easy to fin

The coming of a first new baby is a time of excitement and every Muslim mother-to-be eagerly awaits the arrival of this special gift. It is easy to find the latest advice and useful practical tips and information about what to expect of the early weeks of motherhood on a day to day basis from Western books, but because they are bereft of the guidance of Islam, they contain little advice for Muslim Women when it comes coping spiritually with the coming of a baby. Every baby is different and some first time mothers find things quite easy and smooth. But nearly all will have moments when they struggle to reorganize their lives and many have a very trying time if their baby suffers from colic or has trouble settling down or if the birth was complicated and long. There are many things Muslim women can do to make this time as smooth as possible and increase their Eemân.

Welcome your child in the correct Islamic manner

There are many sunnahs relating to the newborn:

The Adhân being recited to the child soon after the birth so that it is the first thing the child hears.

Tahnîk: rubbing a small piece of softened date or something sweet on the palate of the newborn.

Shaving the hair of the newborn on the seventh day and giving the value of its weight in silver to charity.

Announce the good news of the birth to family and friends and you will see that everyone is happy when they hear of the birth of a new Muslim child!

Aqiqah

The Aqîqah is a strong Sunnah and many scholars regard it as an obligation upon the parents and it is the slaughtering of two sheep or goats for a boy and one sheep or goat for a girl preferably on the seventh day. The Prophet ( sallallâhu alaihi wa sallam) is reported to have said:

“The Aqîqah is a right (upon you). (Slaughter) for a boy two compatible sheep, and for a girl: one”. (Ahmad and others.)[1] Although many people send money to poor Muslim countries for the Aqîqah, this important Sunnah should be revived in the societies we live in as well. By having the Aqîqah in your locality, by eating of the meat yourself and having your friends and family and other Muslims gather and take part in this joyous occasion or in distributing the meat to them there are many benefits: First of all this is the way the Prophet (sallallâhu alaihi wa sallam) practiced it. The sense of identity of the Muslim community as well as Muslim children will increase, people will know that there is a new addition to the Ummah and will pray for your child insha Allâh and you will be able to enjoy this occasion and perhaps meet family and friends who you may not be able to see so often now that you are a busy mother.

A good name is one of the rights of the child. Good names are those which are known to be pleasing to Allâh and approved by His Messenger or acceptable to the scholars of Islam. Recommended names are those that show servitude to Allâh: Abdullah, Abdurrahmân etc. The names of the Prophets and Sahâbah and the pious people before us will also have a good effect on the childs psyche. She will want to be like Mariam (‘ alaihas Salâm) and he will want to be like ‘Umar (Radi Allâhu ‘anhu) if you give them those names insha Allâh. And the child will have a role model in their name and love to hear the story of a person in the past with their name. Make sure the name has a good meaning, don’t just name it because it sounds good. There have been some people especially from amongst the non-Arabs who have named their children names that sound good but have a bad or improper meaning for a Muslim. That name will have an effect on the character of that child and will follow that child for life. One name that we came across amongst some children was a Muslim girl called: Ilâha! Meaning ‘goddess’! We seek refuge in Allâh from such names.

Circumcision: If you have a son, get him circumcised on the seventh day or as soon as you can so as not to cause the child discomfort. It’s good to get a personal recommendation when looking for a Doctor and the procedure is a very easy one and local anesthetic is usually used. Usually healing takes a week or two.

Duas and Other worships

A common statement made by some sisters who are mothers is “I don’t get any time to do ‘ Ibâdah”. This is a misconception amongst us because we don’t realize that even the every day tasks that we do as Muslims become Worships if they are accompanied with a good intention. So, perhaps you are spending most of your time caring for your baby and even after the post-partum bleeding period you may not be able to pray as many superogaratory prayers or teach Qur’ân or do other praiseworthy acts that you used to do. But remember, the job that you are doing is one, which Allâh has ordained for you, and a very important and rewardable one if you do it mindfully and for the sake of Allâh. You are bringing up the future worshippers of Allâh, the future scholars or Mujâhidîn or teachers or leaders: the future Ummah!

Although you will not be performing Salâh as you are in your Post natal bleeding period, this is a time you need to call on Allâh regularly and using His names and attributes, call on Him sincerely, ask Him to make easy anything you may be finding difficult. Make du’a for your child for the du’a of the mother for her child is answered as occurs in the hadîth:

“There are three supplications that are answered – there being no doubt about it: the supplication of the oppressed, the supplication of the traveler and the supplication of the parent for his child.”[2]

Some du’as you can make for your child are as follows:

The du’a that the Prophet used to make for Hasan and Hussain which was also the du’a that the Prophet Ibrahîm (alaihis salâm) used to make for Ismaîl and Ishâq was:

“U’îdhukumâ bi kalimât illâhi-ttâmah, min kulli shaytânin wa hâmmah wa min kulli ‘ainin lâmma”[3]

“I seek refuge for you with Allâh’s complete words from every Devil and harmful creature and from every envious eye”

And the du’a of Mariam’s mother (alaihas Salâm) to Allâh:

“Innî u’îdhu hâ bika wa dhurrîyyatuhâ minashaitânir-rajîm”

“I seek Your protection for her and her progeny from Shaitan, the outcast.” (Surah ?l-‘Imran 3:36)

Suratul Fâtihah, Ayatul Kursî and the last three Surah’s of the Qur’ân can also be recited for seeking protection.

You may be awake in the night feeding your child for long stretches, so take this opportunity to make du’a and make adhkâr while feeding. Du’a and Dhikr are in and of themselves ‘Ibâdah. Allâh has given us many ways of worshipping him for all different situations. You could revise the Surahs you have memorized [4] or just listen to Qur’ân recitation and contemplate on the meaning. Getting your baby used to having the Qur’ân recited to him will insha Allâh be beneficial and have an effect on him. Or get some cassettes with talks on them to listen to as this can have a very positive effect on you especially if the talks are inspirational like the Stories of The Prophets or Sahabah.

Reference: Click here for whole article

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5 Comments

Posted by on October 19, 2007 in Pregnancy & Motherly Matters

 

5 responses to “When the Baby Arrives

  1. gabriel

    October 20, 2007 at 4:03 am

    “If you have a son, get him circumcised on the seventh day or as soon as you can so as not to cause the child discomfort.”

    Or better yet don’t get him circumcised, the natural human body works just fine… and he may not want you to cut off part of his penis. and when he grows up he’ll likely realize that having his whole penis is better and he wouldn’t want to be missing any of it, like most uncut males… and he’ll thank you for being such a good mom and protecting him and his right to make decisions like this about his own body

    Modern medicine makes it quite painless to get it done when he’s old enough to choose, but it can’t be undone.

     
  2. gabriel

    October 20, 2007 at 4:08 am

    and when he’s old enough to decide, he most likely wouldn’t want to do it, or even think about doing it. even if it was completely painless and healed within minutes.

    if your concerned about future female partners disliking it – it’s HIS body. Think of it as a stupid woman filter — weeding out the ones who would be so dull and shallow as to be bothered by it.

     
  3. sisteraddy

    October 25, 2007 at 9:03 am

    Hi Gabriel, perhaps you don’t know that circumcision of male genital is a Law in the belief system of Islam. It is a mandatory rule by God that every Muslim male must be circumcised. As Muslim parents we fulfill this duty. The benefits of circumcision are many, look it up. Perhaps the most deluding sentence about your comment was the part where you proclaimed that “and when he’s old enough to decide, he most likely wouldn’t want to do it”, as plainly that is your opinion assumed on someone else. You claim someone’s right make up their mind about being circumcised and in the same paragraph endorse that they “wont want” circumcision, effectively taking away that right yourself. This is quite hypocritical.

     
  4. shab

    November 19, 2007 at 9:25 am

    Assalamualaikum sis,

    i just want to get a little precision…
    hmm about reciting the Adhan in the baby ears, can u plz give me an authentic hadith to prove it…
    am not against, but jus wanna b on the right path…
    thank you…

     
  5. sisteraddy

    February 1, 2008 at 12:49 am

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    Sure thing Shab, I came across an excellent website that details the hadith behind reciting adhan into baby’s ears soon after birth. Please check it out as follows:

    http://www.themuslimwoman.com/offspring/athaninear.htm

    The hadith is weak (daeef) as follows:

    “I saw the Prophet give Adhan for the Prayer in the ear of al-Husayn ibn ‘Alee when his mother Fatimah (RA) gave birth to him.” (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhee who declared it ‘hasan’ and by Shaikh al-Albanee in ‘al-Irwaa’).

    Although weak, and one cannot establish as a confirmed sunnah,the reason for this action may be that the newborn in the first moments of its life and the first hours hears the Kalimah of Tawheed (the declaration that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah) and the everlasting testification, and this is before his ears hear any other words in this world. It is a Mubah action, i.e. one that is optional and for which you are neither punished nor rewarded. Allah knows best!

     

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